Romeo & Juliet: Going Too Fast? Or Getting Pushed To Do So?

          In ELA, we are currently reading "Romeo and Juliet" by William Shakespeare. Romeo and Juliet is about a young boy and girl from two enemy households (Romeo: Montague, Juliet: Capulet), who fall madly in love, and in a horrible mix up, both end up killing themselves. While reading this  script, I noticed a certain theme. Throughout the text, there is a lot of reference to people "coming of age", and reminiscing over children growing up too fast.
          Shortly after the initial fight scene, Paris talks to Capulet about his wishes to marry Juliet. To Capulet, he says, "Younger than she are happy mothers made." By this, Paris is saying that girls younger than her are happily married and have children, so Juliet should be perfectly fine with it. In response, Capulet says, "And too soon marred are those so early made." By "made", Capulet means "married", and he is saying that by getting married so soon, Juliet will lose the freedom of life too soon, and it should be lost later in life (in adulthood). They clearly disagree.
           When Lady Capulet is first talking to Juliet about marriage, Lady Capulet and Nurse are talking about Juliet's age. Lady Capulet says, "She's not fourteen". "I'll lay fourteen of my teeth (and yet, to my teen be it spoken, I have but four) she's not fourteen," agrees Nurse. At the same time however, they are reminiscing. Nurse goes on a long, ranting story of when Juliet was just a child; "'Tis since the earthquake now eleven years, / And she was weaned (I never shall forget it)/ Of all the days of the year, upon that day...." In this manner, it appears as if Juliet is growing up very fast, and that they are saying that she is young. Soon after, however, Lady Capulet proposes the idea of marriage to Juliet, and tells her of Paris's wish to marry her. When Juliet says that she respects the idea of marriage, but does not wish it for herself just yet, her mother replies, "Younger than you/Here in Verona, ladies of esteem,/Are made already mothers. By my count/I was your mother much upon these years/That you are now a maid." By this, Lady Capulet is saying that at age 13, Juliet should be glad to be a mother; respectable women were mothers at ages younger than 13, and Lady Capulet herself was a mother at around Juliet's age. By these words, it seems as if Lady Capulet is pushing Juliet to become more mature then (in my opinion) she ought to be at such a young age. All of these conflicting messages both support the concept of my theme.
           In Act 1, Scene 5, at the party, Capulet is talking to his Cousin about how long it's been since they last attended a masquerade party. Capulet's Cousin says it's been thirty years, but Capulet is saying it hasn't been that long: "Some five and twenty years, and then we masked." His cousin then replies, "'Tis more, 'tis more. His son is elder, sir. His son is thirty." To which Capulet replies, "Will you tell me that?/ His son was but a ward (one under the care of a guardian) two years ago." Capulet is saying that time has gone by very quickly, and he cannot believe how fast "his" son has grown. Although this is a minor detail within the story (barely), it still stood out to me, because there's quite a lot of talk of children/teenagers becoming, or not yet becoming adults.
           In class, we're often told to consider why Romeo and Juliet fell so madly in love, and if we think it was smart for their relationship to escalate so quickly as it did. While thinking about the theme that I noticed, I came to a realization. Many people say that Romeo and Juliet's love for each other was just lust, and that it happened way too quickly, and at too young an age. But really, how can we blame them? Throughout the story, there are so many conflicting pieces of advice, or orders about how to act, and what actions should be done in affiliation with their ages. It is true, they do agree to be married very shortly after they meet each other, but what about Paris and Juliet? Do they know each other any better than Romeo and Juliet know each other? Put yourself in Juliet's shoes. Here she is, constantly being told that she is an adult, but also often being defended as a child/teenager. Then, she learns she is soon to be forced to get married to an adult man. Then comes along Romeo, someone actually her age, and they fall in love. Was it really that unwise, or that ridiculous? They're constantly handed responsibilities as adults, and relationship-wise treated like adults, so it was quite understandable that they fell in love as adults, or that they felt they did. Maybe it wasn't just Romeo and Juliet being careless and impulsive, maybe it was how they were treated that made them act the way they did.