Finding Your Obssesion

          I've just started reading, "The Rules of Survival" by Nancy Werlin. In this book, the main character Matt is writing to his youngest sister Emmy about the "truth and history of our family", seeing as she was too young to understand it at the time he writes it. Matt, Emmy, and the middle sibling Carrie, have a very destructive mother and live in terrible conditions. Life is pretty grim, and Matt doesn't spend a lot of time thinking about his life as much as protecting his sisters from their own mother; but when he sees a random stranger stand up for a little boy as he is about to be abused by his father, he become fascinated.
          Matt's mother is dangerous. She's a drug addict, and completely unstable. "I remember one night, when I was little. I waited until our mother had gone to bed, and then I sneaked into the kitchen. There was a package of Oreos there. My plan was to take one of them back to bed with me... I made it all the way back to bed with the cookie. I was beneath the sheet, in a little tent, with the cookie flat on my palm and my nose pressed to it- when she whipped back the covers. "Thief!" our mother yelled. "Cookie thief!" She burst into giggles. She had the big kitchen knife, and it was pressed to my throat. And as she laughed, I could feel it shake in her hands, and push against my skin. She cut me that night. Just a little. Just to teach me not to steal, and not to sneak." This unpredictability has forced Matt and his sisters into a life of constant fear. His only thought is protecting his sisters, survival. His dream of dreams would be to stand up to his mother, to banish her for good from their lives.
          When he sees a mystery man protecting a child from an abusive parent, it basically encapsulates his worries/hopes in a nutshell. "I stood in that convenience store on that hot summer night and stared after him, and I thought: I have to know that man. There is a word for this feeling, Emmy. It's called obsession." Seeing something that is so relatable to him makes him enthralled. Matt becomes a bit obsessed with this man, who he later finds out is named Murdoch. I think he basically thinks of him as an idol. Murdoch protected a child from an abusive parent, which is what Matt wishes he could do for his sisters. He wishes to be Murdoch, wishes he could act like him; so he becomes "obsessed". When people find something that just encapsulates them, or expresses their hopes or dreams, we tend to become fascinated.
          I'm not that far into the book, but I know that Matt and his sister find Murdoch, and he accidentally ends up dating their mother. Their mother tries her best to act normal for as long as she can. For about three months, Matt, Carrie, and Emmy soak up their "miracle" as much as they can, as Murdoch is everything they wished they had as a parent. He is everything Matt wishes to be. As most things do come to an end, Murdoch and "Nikki" don't stay together forever, and Matt's miracle bubble is popped, leaving things back (nearly worse) to where they were before they even met Murdoch.
          When we find something that perfectly yields to our personalities or dreams, something that fits us like a glove, we tend to become obsessed. We never knew something could attune to us so well. We can't help but obsess over it! It's like when you find a new band that you've never heard before, and you fall in love with their music; everything they write describes you, and you feel like you found some place you belong. What do we do? We watch all of their music videos, buy their albums, posters, everything we can do to become closer to them. You look back at all of the other music you used to listen to, and realize that it wasn't as good as you thought it was.
          In this way, I don't think it is weird that Matt becomes obsessed with Murdoch. Matt was just at the convenience store with his sister, when suddenly, a man demonstrates his whole life's basis. Everything he tries to do, wants to be, wishes to be, is bluntly defined by that one action. He must've been in awe. I think we all have these things we become obsessed with, and I think each thing gives a big look into each individual's personality and wants/hopes/dreams.